Sunday, August 26, 2007@5:00 PM Author: WZ
Story Title: Rising Sun [One-Shots]
Story URL: winglin.net/fanfic/TVXQ
1* Title - 3/5
It was a bit obvious, given that Rising Sun is one of DBSK’s song titles, but I’ve never seen another story, or set of stories for that matter, with that title. Sometimes I guess the most obvious titles are the most eye-catching. However, your one-shot sub-title, ‘A Fated Devil’ was a lot more eye-catching, even though it didn’t exactly roll off the tongue.
2* Forwards - 7/10
The forwards were a bit brief, but I liked the quote in the beginning. It sounded very mysterious and served to draw the reader further into reading the story. It was a good start, but maybe you could have expanded a little more on that. Then again it was a one-shot, so brevity was the whole idea.
3* Appearance - 8/10
Despite what you said, I liked the poster! I didn’t really like the way Junsu’s nose got cut off (just kidding!) but overall it looked pretty presentable. Font was easy to read against the simple background. On the whole, no quibbles, save for the fact that it wasn’t as shiny and glossy as some of the more sophisticated stories out there.
4* Originality and Creativity - 13/15
You mentioned that your inspirations were Tokyo Holiday and a Chinese novel that you had read. I’m not too sure which novel it was, but the story seemed to have some independent thought that went into it (because quite frankly I saw little resemblance to Tokyo Holiday – a good thing really!) I liked the orange juice incident, and Changmin’s responses to Yunho’s ‘Hug’ solo were simply adorable! So I had to give you points for that. Of course, I could be totally wrong and everything could be copied from the Chinese novel, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. ;)
5* Plot - 12/15
The plot was simple and focused on the affinity between Yunho and SeulGi – which made it an easy read. However, because of that it could also turn against you and make the story too short and/or simplistic. Personally I liked it, but there were bits which seemed a little too good to be true. I would have liked to see more of Yunho’s and SeulGi’s characters develop, but that would probably have taken more than two chapters to accomplish.
6* Story Flow - 9/10
The chapters continued on straight from where they left off, and I actually noticed that your updates were pretty quick as well. Good, because that keeps the story fresh and fast-paced.
7* Language: (Spelling, Grammar) - 12/15
There were a couple of spelling mistakes here and there, but it was nothing that a bit of editing wouldn’t fix. You could have a look at the grammar as well, because sometimes the tenses didn’t match up.
8* Writing Style: 8/10
Your writing style is pretty easy-going and uncomplicated, which makes it easy to read and follow your story. I thought it was appropriate to the tone of the story as well, because it helped move the plot along. To tie in with the above category though, I would suggest tailoring your writing style to include some editing after writing to get rid of any inconsistencies that may affect your style.
9* Reader Friendly: 10/10
You were constantly trying to make contact with your readers, expressing your appreciation by replying to comments and by attaching author’s notes at the start and end of the chapters. I actually enjoyed your little sound-bytes immensely, so top marks for that!
Total: 74/100
Bonus: 0/3 – No links as far as I could see.
Friday, August 17, 2007@9:42 PM Title: Winter’s Fantasia
Author: WZ
Link:
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/winterReviewed by: Ting
Criteria Breakdown:
1* Title – 5/5
I really liked the title. It sounded lovely and whimsical, which is always a great draw for readers in my opinion. It also lent an air of mystery to the story, which made me want to read the story without even knowing what the plot was about. Great job!
2* Forwards – 8/10
‘Camford’ was a great touch – I had a good chuckle over that! You described the characters well, and it was easy to differentiate between the different characters. I thought that the introductory paragraph at the end of the forewords was well-done too; I could almost imagine the piano scene as you described it. On first reading, I felt that some of the characters were a little bit clichéd, but sometimes sticking to the tried and tested route is a good thing. The way you crafted your characters contained aspects that made them sound too perfect, which detracted from my enjoyment of the story a little. It might be good to spend a little more time on your characters and make them a little more ‘rounded’.
3* Appearance - 7/10
Font colour and background were nice and striking, so it was easy to read your story, especially because it was in teal (which I love!). A poster and/or background would have helped add to the completeness of the story, but it was by no means essential. I appreciated the simplicity of your layout, and thought that it was adequate, although a little more attention to packaging would have made a considerable difference.
4* Originality and Creativity – 13/15
There were quite a few musical references in the story, which is lovely because not many stories have this feature. It clearly reflected the fact that you have some knowledge in the area and that you put some thought in incorporating the references into your story. Also, the winter reference along with the title of the musical piece tied in perfectly with the title. I liked the ideas that you placed subtly in your writing, which will hopefully unfold as the story progresses. .
5* Plot – 13/15 Marks
One thing I really enjoyed about your story was the relationship between the characters. Not only was it clearly defined, the dialogue was very well crafted, and was very enjoyable to read. You didn’t dwell too long on unimportant things, which made the plot easy to understand because it left those bits to the reader’s imagination. The plot moves quickly, with every chapter coming to a cliffhanger or poignant ending with the promise of continuation. It was almost like watching a TV series episode! Goodness, now even I want to know what Selina read!
6* Story Flow – 9/10
Story flow was smooth and each chapter ran quickly into successive chapters without any discrepancy.
7* Language: (Spelling, Grammar) – 13/15
Overall, spelling and grammar were good. I couldn’t find any major mistakes that needed attention. Sometimes the phrasing was a little odd, but that could be sorted out with a couple of minutes at the editing table.
8* Writing Style: 9/10
Your writing style is easy for readers to read and relate to, which is a big credit to your story. It makes people want to read on, and doesn’t contain riddles or any other complex devices that can make reading tiresome. Your language is simple and uncomplicated which works to your advantage in this story because the ideas being put forth are uncomplicated. This gives a very light, carefree feel to your writing, which is a really good style to have.
9* Reader Friendly: 9/10
You’ve replied periodically to your readers’ comments, even the slightly rude ones, and maintained a very good manner towards your audience, which is good. Also, the notes you placed before/after your chapters was pretty good as well, because it filled in some of the missing gaps in your narrative. Total: 86/100Bonus: 3/3
Thursday, August 16, 2007@10:03 AM Spectrum Light
Story by: WZ
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/spectrum
Reviewed by: Glamour_Diva
Title – 4.5/5
Personally, I thought Spectrum Light wasn’t a perfect title for your stories. In my opinion, your title should’ve been related to the word ‘season’ or something similar. However, Autumn's Mazurka, Spring's Prelude, Winter’s Nocturne and Summer's Fugue were very attractive titles, so it made up for the lost marks.
Forewords – 9/10
Okay, so your overall forewords wasn’t that thrilling. But the one for Autumn’s Mazurka was amazing!! You gave quotes, introduced the characters and all… good job!!
Appearance (Poster and Background) – 8/10
Your poster was gorgeous!! Though, you may be wondering why you only got an eight. Well, although your poster was gorgeous, there was a flaw at the bottom of your poster. There were two Chinese words, which were a huge turnoff!! And I thought the background was a bit dull…you should’ve added a background also. Just a suggestion…=D
Originality and Creativity – 14/15
Your story was very original!! However, some scenes were a bit familiar to me. Don’t worry; you got most of your marks back at the part where Ariel killed Chun!! It was cruel, yet fascinating!!
Plot – 15/15
I have never seen such a plot in Winglin before!! At least I’ve never read of it… So you got… Full marks!!
Story Flow – 10/10
I enjoyed reading the story very much!! I can totally catch up with the story flow!!
Language: (Spelling, Grammar) – 12.5/15
No spelling mistakes!! Your grammar was also excellent!! However there were some minor grammar errors.
For example:
She has an intellectual and quick mind. (had)
and some typing mistakes…
For example:
He had finally found a personal assistant (that) would keep….
Overall, it was fine!!
Writing Style – 10/10
I loved your writing style!! So that is why, you achieved a perfect score!!
Reader Friendly – 9/10
From your writing style, I can see that you are an easy-going person. But you didn’t show it enough!! I know that you leave an author’s note after (or before) your posts, however, you should probably reply the comments of your readers personally also.
Total: 92/100
I enjoyed your story very much!! Honestly, I though it was very good. Good job!
Bonus: 0/3
Sorry, you didn’t link us back at your forewords. =P