Tuesday, July 31, 2007@1:49 PM

Review- Consequences by Grub_Waff

Title--- 4/5
I think this title suits the story very much, about the consequences and all. Especially about the way Jun-Lin treats the gang, it’s quite hilarious. But then the title itself is not as attractive, so that’s where the mark went to.

Forewords---6.5/10
I usually don’t really like stories with forewords that talk a load about the characters, but sometimes a brief introduction of who is actually going to be in it would be nice. =D And I also like how you put a few lines about what the story is going to be about so readers can decide whether or not they are interested.

Appearance (Poster and Background) ---9.5/10
I love the poster! It is very pretty and well made. The background also went along with the poster and the text wasn’t hard to read on top of the background, so good job!

Originality and Creativity---15/15
I think this story is very creative, with the fire and all. =D And I’ve also never seen a story like this on Winglin nor is it similar to real life dramas, so yay! 15 out of 15! =D

Plot---12/15
Since your story only has three chapters so far, so I can’t really tell about the plot. But so far, so good, it makes us readers laugh about the freaky stalker girl and wonder about what this story would lead us to. Perhaps a sappy happy ending of JaeJoong and Jun-Lin? XD

Story Flow---8/10
Your story flows steadily and it’s not hard to understand. Good thing that it doesn’t lead to one thing then another to confuse us readers. =D But at times I’ve gotten confused about the characters because apparently almost all of the members of DBSK had two different names and I didn’t know about them. And then I had to do a research…=.= Overall the flow is good, so keep up the good work!

Writing Style/Reader Friendly---12/15
I feel like your style is aiming for a nice, simple story that gives us readers a good laugh, I usually like stories like that because not only they make me laugh, they are also not confusing. But it would also be nice if you could add in a few more descriptive language so the readers get a more vivid image in their mind. =D I checked your comment board, it is VERY reader friendly! Seems like lots of people likes your story and you always seem very happy and friendly also. So remember to update once in a while!

Language (Spelling and Grammar) ---12/15
Usually when I read I don’t really notice grammar mistakes, but there are a few in your writing. I noticed that you like to use sentence fragments, like starting sentences with “and” and all that. I forgive you for that because I personally love to use sentence fragments, but you might want to size it down a bit, because technically, they are still wrong. I’m sorry if I’m being too blunt… Also at the start of chapter two, there were a few sentences where it was written in 1st person when the story itself was in 3rd person. Spelling didn’t seem to be a problem in your story, great! =D

Total---79/95
Sorry…I’m not sure why the marks don’t add up to 100…I’ll have a talk with H Panda about it. =D Good job on your story! Make sure that you finish it so that more readers can have a good laugh! =D

Reviewed by: Flower Petals