Tuesday, July 31, 2007@1:49 PM Review- Consequences by Grub_Waff
Title--- 4/5
I think this title suits the story very much, about the consequences and all. Especially about the way Jun-Lin treats the gang, it’s quite hilarious. But then the title itself is not as attractive, so that’s where the mark went to.
Forewords---6.5/10
I usually don’t really like stories with forewords that talk a load about the characters, but sometimes a brief introduction of who is actually going to be in it would be nice. =D And I also like how you put a few lines about what the story is going to be about so readers can decide whether or not they are interested.
Appearance (Poster and Background) ---9.5/10
I love the poster! It is very pretty and well made. The background also went along with the poster and the text wasn’t hard to read on top of the background, so good job!
Originality and Creativity---15/15
I think this story is very creative, with the fire and all. =D And I’ve also never seen a story like this on Winglin nor is it similar to real life dramas, so yay! 15 out of 15! =D
Plot---12/15
Since your story only has three chapters so far, so I can’t really tell about the plot. But so far, so good, it makes us readers laugh about the freaky stalker girl and wonder about what this story would lead us to. Perhaps a sappy happy ending of JaeJoong and Jun-Lin? XD
Story Flow---8/10
Your story flows steadily and it’s not hard to understand. Good thing that it doesn’t lead to one thing then another to confuse us readers. =D But at times I’ve gotten confused about the characters because apparently almost all of the members of DBSK had two different names and I didn’t know about them. And then I had to do a research…=.= Overall the flow is good, so keep up the good work!
Writing Style/Reader Friendly---12/15
I feel like your style is aiming for a nice, simple story that gives us readers a good laugh, I usually like stories like that because not only they make me laugh, they are also not confusing. But it would also be nice if you could add in a few more descriptive language so the readers get a more vivid image in their mind. =D I checked your comment board, it is VERY reader friendly! Seems like lots of people likes your story and you always seem very happy and friendly also. So remember to update once in a while!
Language (Spelling and Grammar) ---12/15
Usually when I read I don’t really notice grammar mistakes, but there are a few in your writing. I noticed that you like to use sentence fragments, like starting sentences with “and” and all that. I forgive you for that because I personally love to use sentence fragments, but you might want to size it down a bit, because technically, they are still wrong. I’m sorry if I’m being too blunt… Also at the start of chapter two, there were a few sentences where it was written in 1st person when the story itself was in 3rd person. Spelling didn’t seem to be a problem in your story, great! =D
Total---79/95
Sorry…I’m not sure why the marks don’t add up to 100…I’ll have a talk with H Panda about it. =D Good job on your story! Make sure that you finish it so that more readers can have a good laugh! =D
Reviewed by: Flower Petals
Wednesday, July 25, 2007@12:09 PM Autograph
Written By: White_Waff
Title- 5 Marks
~Love the title even though it's pretty normal and i have seen stories with the same title before but your title ties with the story real good.
Forwards - 8 Marks
~Your forewords are OK but next time please write more about the characters' feelings and their personalities.
Appearance - 10 Marks
~I love the color and the lovely poster.
Originality & Creativity - 14 Marks
~I have seen stories with familiar plot but this is just so cute how you described the members and how they feel toward each others.
Plot - 14 Marks
~Your plot is pretty common these day but you managed to make the story so good and yeah i love it. Normally people always give YunHo the role of a jerk but you didn't do so and you gave Micky the role instead, which made the story so interesting to me.
Story Flow - 10 Marks
~I really enjoyed the story and the flow wasn't too fast or too slow to me.
Writing Style/Reader Friendly - 15Marks
~I am glad that you didn't choose to write this story in ta scripted form and it made it easier for me to read and picture what's going on in the story clearer.
Language: Spelling, Grammar - 15 Marks
~Everything was perfect!
Total - 91/100
Reviewed by Nhu Tran
@12:06 PM Too Good To Be True
Written By: Blank_Waff
Title- 5 Marks
~I love the title, it's so cute and makes me want to read more.
Forwards - 8 Marks
~Your forewords was OK but i think it would be better if you add more details about the characters and how they feel towards each other.
Appearance - 10 Marks
~I love the poster, the color of your font, it's very easy to read and best of all it didn't hurt my eyes while i was reading it like some other fanfics.
Originality & Creativity - 15 Marks
~It's pretty good when you made her become their girlfriend and it was funny. This is probably the best fanfic ever because of all the thing that you have putted into this story and i haven't seen it on other ones.
Plot - 14 Marks
~This is a pretty common plot but you have managed to make it very excited to read, i love it.
Story Flow - 10 Marks
~I have enjoyed this story a lot and hope you update soon!!!!
Writing Style/Reader Friendly - 15 Marks
~Glad that you didn't write it in a script format and telling a story from one person's point of view is pretty interesting.
Language: Spelling, Grammar - 15 Marks
~Your spelling and grammar are very good and i love it, it makes the story easier to read.
Total points- 92
Reviewed By: Nhu Tran